(no subject)

1. Get a marker.

2. Watch this video, and, if you see a Silent, mark your hand.

3. If there's no mark on your hand, the footage was edited by Silents!
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    nervous paranoid

Writer's Block: Available: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with hot and cold running chills

Would you live in the perfect house or apartment rent-free if you found out a brutal murder had taken place there and it was rumored to be haunted? Why or why not?

No. You can't get something for nothing, so there's got to be a catch. The landlord wants to murder you, I think!

Unless maybe they just want you to prove to the future rent-paying tenants there's nothing wrong with it. Then, sure. I ain't afraid of no ghosts! My dorm room for next year is next to a mysteriously locked, unused dorm room. Everyone thinks rooms like that are haunted. It says "food service" in pencil by the door but they don't serve hot meals in that res hall, and there's a perfectly sufficient kitchen for breakfasts, and bet you $10 the other res halls have no locked food service room! So I do think it's mysterious.


A bit earlier, on the bus, there was another student and this middle-aged bag lady with her stuff spread out over six seats. She had a rolling bag, a shoulder bag, and tons and tons of plastic grocery bags, and was wearing three or four coats. When the bus stopped, she asked the student about whether she'd missed her stop or something like that; I'm not sure why. The student said no, she was getting off here, so she did. Then two girls got onto the bus; they were friends, but only one stayed. The other just retrieved her Sylvester the Cat hat. Then the student who'd been on the bus in the first place got back on. Very odd.

We got to the bag lady's stop, and she needed to make two trips to get all her stuff off the bus. So once she'd got the first load off the bus and came back on, the student asked her if she needed help.

Bag Lady: No, I'm fine.
Student: Are you sure you don't need help?
Bag Lady: Well, I definitely need help [laughs] but it's fine!
Student: Oh, okay, let me help you!
Bag Lady: [a bit rattled] No! I can handle it!
Student: Really? It's okay, I'll help you!
Bag Lady: No! It was a joke!

It was obviously a joke, too. I thought it was pretty good.

When the bus started moving again, I noticed that the student had exactly one, yellow-and-red, nearly illegible pin on her backpack. It said, "ATTITUDE IS THE ONLY DISABILITY". I shit thee not.

Writer's Block: You can't take that away from me!

If you had to go an entire week without TV, music, or your mobile phone, which would you choose, and why?

Well, since I usually go without TV, since I'm in college and don't have a TV or the time to watch Hulu, and since my mobile phone has been lost for about ten days now, I can authoritatively state that I can do without those, so I guess I'd least like to give up music. Followed by my phone. TV would go first, since I think I have only watched like four hours of television in the past two months and I don't really mind.
communist party

(no subject)

I just discovered it is absolutely possible to make your own bacon and egg bagel sandwiches. I've never tried that before. Om nom nom. There's like two pounds of bagels in the freezer from the bat mitzvah my family went to a month ago. There was this brunch and they fobbed off a ton of extra bagels on us. Seriously, bat mitzvah bagels... not so great, akshully. They're all plain and hard. If only we had that much bacon, I would be all set to totally pervert all the bat mitzvah bagels with bacon. And then weigh like ten thousand pounds.

These guys just walked into the shop and stood around for a while and I looked away for a second and then all of a sudden they had an awesome Viking helmet. WHAT. I have no idea where they pulled it from, they totally weren't carrying bags or anything.

Also, there was $27.77 in small change in the cash register today. Now, class, how many combinations (Firefox does not believe that's a word) of coins could that have been? They were practically overflowing out of the little drawers. I have to count the coins. >:(

The guy who works at CD Alley next door has turned from a nice guy into a pissy jackass who refuses to give me the keys before 11 AM. We open at 11. CD Alley opens at 11. What is his problem? Perhaps he is super-busy doing something before 11, but, seriously. Jerk.

I apparently cannot knock on doors without knocking to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut". If you've ever seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit, I assure you I am a real human being.

The machine raging against the machine.

When I turned on the receipt printer at work today, you know what it did? It spat out like a whole fucking bumper sticker. Apparently, one of the folks at the crazy bookstore at which I work has somehow convinced it to take a stand against the yet-crazier apartment complex that just sprung up overnight down the street. It seems to be made to produce grey and pink works of art often enough, which are pinned up around the shop in all their margin-abbreviated glory, but it's never tried making a political poster before. I have no idea what it says, because whoever did it severely miscalculated the size at which it would print out. The thing is big enough to be the receipt from buying half our inventory, but each word is ant-sized, about the same size as the hairs on the massive pink mosquito at the bottom of the sheet. It is, however, clear that


Even the machine that prints the receipts opposes capitalism. Why are we in business again?

Also, my dad had me practice driving yesterday. Since I have no idea what I'm doing, I was driving really slowly. So some asshole in a shiny black car had to putter along behind me. He started tailgating me and waggling his arm out his window and generally broadcasting that he was pissed and did not want to be there. So what he did is all of a sudden he passed me, revving like crazy, at like twice the speed limit, like he thought a demonstration might teach me how to drive fast. Jerk. He probably thought someone was waiting impatiently for him to show up, but I'm sure no one wanted him around.

The other day, I saw a big dish of melted ice cream full of M&Ms sitting on a brick wall downtown. The fuck is that. It looked like it'd been there all night. There are children finishing their vegetables for the sake of the children starving in Africa who don't have ice cream, you know. If you're not going to finish your ice cream, don't leave it out to see if it gets a tan.
communist party


So, am currently working at the bookshop... volunteering at the bookshop... which doesn't pay anyone except the managers, because no one ever buys stuff, and it's also run by anarchists... and communists... both of which, I think, don't believe in paying people with the money produced by our current capitalist hegemony. They must be very pleased that we mostly don't make a profit.

Speaking of, when I was doing the register tally, we had a one-dollar bill with what looked like a big drop of dry blood on it. Ew ew ew.

Obviously, if the capitalist system worked, I should at least be washing dishes FOR MONEY at this point. I can do a job! And I'm fairly fluent in Spanish! And...

Fickle finger of invisible hand of market fucking with me; does not care about the working man, never mind the nonworking woman.

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And on our other side, we have... TOMCATS II. Guess what that is? It's a Legitimate Businessmen's Massage Parlor. A mob front disguised as... something sexy for sale. WTF. I think our hours and theirs don't overlap, though, since... they're never open! Or, at least, they don't seem open even at midnight.

A very quiet, skinny, middle-aged guy just bought an eleven-dollar magazine on nudism. Bless. First sale of the day! We've been open for an hour and twenty minutes! People just come in here to look at our books and erode our linoleum!...

And a guy just came in and chuckled at all our bumper stickers, said, "Great store," and left. The comedy club is that way! But they do charge admission.

Also, a few weeks back, we had an obvious break-in but nothing got stolen. The alarm was blaring and the door was unlocked. We've got a security service but the security company doesn't care about trustafarian people, I guess. Natch, they called and sent the police purely to embarrass me when I set the alarm off by mistake, and sounded really concerned over the phone. They are fucking with us.

It's nice to have good material to kvetch about, though...